The dark side of life


The Holidays!

How do you mange over the holidays? Manage with food that is. Do you limit yourself to one or two sweets? Stay away from everything? Or gorge?

I find it especially hard these days with four different dinners within a week. Each offering potatoes, stuffing, and plenty of deserts all in one sitting. That is a lot of carbs my friend! That’s not even taking into account all the carbs I eat before dinner with all the fancy appetizers everyone recreates from Pinterest.
It seems no matter how much insulin I give myself my blood sugar is still sky high. Must be the fat with the carbs? Who knows!

I am sure you are thinking ‘just don’t eat it!! Control yourself.’ Of course I have thought of that but why is this easier said then done?
Can you control yourself at holiday dinners? Please I need some tips!

My uncle told me at Christmas Eve dinner this year that one day won’t hurt you. So next year I must try and decide on one day… Lol


A special thanks

I would like to say thank you to a wonderful EA that works in the other kindergarten class at my school.
One morning I was talking with teachers and my diabetes was brought up. The teachers asked some questions and then we went on with our usual morning preps. Later that day the EA came up to me and told me her son had diabetes too. she told me she always admires people with type one diabetes because of the extra work we do daily to stay alive and the strength she sees in us. She told me we look just like everyone else and know one can tell the daily hardships we go through.
It felt like she was giving me a pat on the back for working through it, and it felt great to hear from someone I just barely know that truly understands what this is all like.
Thank you!!

New Years Resolutions

I have come to the conclusion from listening to the radio and my co-workers/friends/families talk about feelings on resolutions that there is such a black/white to it. My reflection on whether I should make goals for my year has shown me that a lot people either HATE it or LOVE it.  I feel some make goals too general while others make goals soooo specific that both are unattainable! A resolution should be something that challenges you; something that continues your growth and learning; something that you can look back and be proud of. Even if it is the smallest challenge! I want to continue to grow,learn, and reflection so I AM going to have some New Year Resolutions!
Here are my small and big challenges that I want to be proud of at the end of 2014.
-Continue to volunteer
-Rid myself of enemies by changing my attitude towards people, apologize, forgive
-Forgive by knowing I can not change the past but I can change how I feel about the past
-Keep dreaming and believing that I will be in a classroom one day soon! Positive thinking= Results.
-Stay up to date on things teacher related- books/blogs/etc
-Start using my phrase a day book
-Write what I am grateful for -daily
-Feel great about myself and my body
Work out
Eat Healthy
and Drop my A1C by 2.0%
I’d like to do this by swapping out my pump every other day, checking my sugar before I eat, and continuing my blog posts (this written release reminds me that my body needs my attention)

While some of this list came from my own personal list some of the others were inspired by this list

I hope you decide to join me and challenge yourself this year! Good luck 😉
Happy New Year




There are certain foods that my manmade insulin just cannot handle.

BBQ chips, Chinese Food, Subway, and Mucho-Burrito

For BBQ chips and Chinese food it is the fat! No matter how much insulin I give myself half an hour after eating it my sugar is ridiculously HIGH. I was told that many diabetics have certain foods that affect them differently. I am sure pizza or poutine fries has the same amount of fat but I can maintain a good sugar level after eating them! I guess I am just not suppose to eat those chips or Chinese!

Now, Subway and Mucho Burrito share one thing in common SO MANY CARBS(check out bold words on the Diabetic Jargon Page)! I was talking with my mom and her friend Cathy from work about this because just thinking about eating mucho burrito reminds me of a sugar high. I cannot eat there anymore, my high sugar feelings have ruined it for me! For subway I can sometimes get the insulin ratio right but it does not happen very often!


A1C Check

I went to the metabolic clinic (not sure what metabolic means but I know type one and two diabetes go there and see doctors that specialize in diabetes). So yes, I went to the metabolic clinic on Wednesday and got a diabetes check up. They check my feet, my eyes, my sugars, whats going on in life, and even my feelings!! All seems to be in good order. Especially my eyes! No worries yet. My a1c is a 9.4 which is up from December 9.2 and more even than when I first got my pump 7.5! The target is 7 and my doc told me most people my age are in the 8s. The reason I am in the 9s is because even though more often then not I am on top of checking my blood and making good choices sometimes I am not. Those lazy times (as I like to call them) have me sitting two units above the number I’d like be.
sad 😦
My doc said he feels sympathy for me! He knows I work hard and have my lazy moments but unfortunately it’s what is holding me back. He told me he would like to see me in 7-8 range and told me to try my best.
It is hard to get back into the habit of always testing and I definitely need reminders! And the guilt I have when I have a moment to think about it is ridiculous. In twenty years when I lose a limb, an organ (and/or my eyes) I will have nothing to blame but my lazy, lost habits 😦
So if you see me about to eat and your not sure if I tested ask! I promise not to get mad about it anymore. I need the reminder until I get back into the swing of it.
I want to be in full control and set myself up for a successful diabetic future!!!


The diabetic store!


Feeling a bit like a hill-billy with my taped up pump! The clip that holds it to my pants/bra/etc has broke and I do not have an extra one!
I wish there was a diabetes store run by a diabetic with employees who were all diabetics. I could just pop in and buy anything and everything I need. I could chat with the cashier and we would laugh over how cheap the plastic is on the objects we use to keep ourselves alive!!!
Ahhh, to dream!

Blondie XoXo

Mid-afternoon snack attack!

Around this time everyday I get home from school and get that hardcore craving feeling. I want to eat the hole house!
Sometimes, who am I kidding, more often then not I let into the cravings. And you know who suffers from it the most?
Kam! poor guy…
I owe him an apology! Here’s what usually happens..
I snack continuously and either wait to give insulin until I feel sick and eat no more OR only bolus the first time I go to cupboard and miss insulin for everything else. Either way my sugar raises to ridiculous heights. I get thirsty, and easily irritated. Sometimes I even cry for no real reason.
While this happens Kam is on his way home from work and walks in on me with a high sugar and moody!
Not cool right?
Asmuch as I try to tell myself not to eat so much or make a big snack and don’t go back for more I can’t! it is so hard not to snack!Even now writing this I am thinking if I should eat something else (On top of my cheese sandwich I just ate). Sorry Kam! I am trying but what’s a girl to do?


Hello again!

Hello blog world!
Sorry for MIAing on you. Life with school, work, and my own little family can keep me sooo busy sometimes! I have missed writing and until i stopped writing I never realized how many people actually read my blog! ( Knowing your reading is great motivation to write!!)
So it has been a few months! There are a lot of new things to talk about,
-there is a boy in my class from practicum who has diabetes, we compete over sugar levels at lunch time
-I am noticing more and more people in my life have type two
-I was an ambassador for an international final fantasy gamer webcast thinger. Over 2,000 people from around the world were watching me talk!
-my a1c is up a bit again and I have been told I haven’t been taking full advantage of my pump (knew it!) so I have been testing my blood 5 times a day! It is so hard to do!
– I have given up on the sensor, argh that thing is annoying! I hate testing and want to use it but I am nervous!
Aaaand that’s about it!
To make myself responsible to sticking to writing I am going to say I’ll add three posts a week! Wish me good luck ; )